Sometimes a conversation on Substack stops feeling like “content” and starts feeling like life itself.
Yesterday, I had a Live conversation with Dr Donna Blevins about caregiving, creativity, ageing, writing books, shiny object syndrome, and what happens when two women in their later years try to make sense of how they want to spend the time they have left.
And somewhere in the middle of that conversation, Donna shared a story I have not been able to stop thinking about.
Her mother, who was 96 and nearing the end of her life, suddenly sat up after barely speaking for almost a year and said:
“Donna, we have a book to write.”
Donna asked her what the title should be.
Her mother insisted, “You know.”
And then Donna blurted out:
“Getting old sucks. Caregiving and learning to let go sucks more.”
Her mother said:
“That’s it.”
Then she lay back down and barely spoke again for two weeks.
I stood there with my mouth open in astonishment. Because sometimes people near the end of life become startlingly clear. They stop pretending. They stop decorating reality. And they say the thing everyone else is too polite to say out loud.
Caregiving Is Invisible Work
Donna spent years caring for her mother full-time. Twenty-four hours a day during the last three and a half years of her mother’s life.
Now she is caring for her husband, the love of her life and long-time creative partner, whose mind is no longer as nimble as it once was.
And in the middle of that, she admitted something many caregivers quietly feel:
“I’m tired.”
Not sleepy tired.
Not lazy tired.
Caregiver tired.
The kind of tired where even resting makes you feel guilty.
The kind of tired where you sit in a recliner doing “nothing” while your nervous system is screaming for recovery.
She said she had been feeling guilty for not publishing consistently on Substack, not keeping up with her newsletter, not “doing enough.”
How many of us are carrying that same guilt?
Not because we are lazy.
But because we are human beings living through emotionally demanding seasons while still expecting ourselves to perform like productivity robots.
The Strange Comfort of Talking to AI
Donna then told me she had been testing a custom GPT she created called Relief on Demand.
Last week, during a particularly exhausting spell, she typed just two words into it:
“I’m tired.”
And the AI started responding like a thoughtful coach.
Not with toxic positivity. Not with motivational fluff. But with conversation.
That led us into one of the most interesting parts of the discussion.
Before AI, many of us were desperately searching for someone who could simply listen without judgement.
Someone who would not interrupt. Not diagnose. Not lecture. Not make the conversation about themselves. Just listen.
And now, suddenly, millions of people have access to something that can simulate compassionate listening at any hour of the day.
That fascinated me.
Not because AI replaces human connection. It doesn’t. But because many people are lonely in ways we rarely acknowledge publicly.
Especially older people.
Especially caregivers.
Especially introverts.
Our problem is the same “too many ideas”
Earlier Donna had messaged me listing all the books she wants to write.
A poker book.
A caregiving book.
A sequel to her mind-shifting book.
A book around her domain name: “70 The New Sexy.”
And I laughed because I recognised myself immediately.
We do not suffer from a lack of ideas.
We suffer from having too many ideas.
Too many passions.
Too many things we still want to do before we die.
What if each obsession is simply a different chapter of our life?
What if we stop trying to force ourselves into writing one giant, perfect, definitive book and instead write essays?
Perspectives.
Fragments.
Stories.
Truths.
That idea visibly relieved Donna. She remember an article she wrote last year where she toyed of the term ‘fifty-shades-of-Donna.’ She said it could be the title of her book.
And it could be.
Many writers in midlife are exhausted by the pressure to create one massive masterpiece when they can write a series of essays to capture a lifetime of interconnected insights.
“Finish Something”
Toward the end of the conversation, Donna shared her word for the year:
“Finish.”
Earlier, for many years, she was choosing ‘simplify’ as the theme of year. But this year she chose a different one because she had so many things going on and none getting completed that she had to tell herself, “Fucking finish something.”
I think many of us need that as a theme word. Because there comes a point in life where endless planning becomes avoidance disguised as productivity.
You realise your time is finite. And suddenly completion becomes sacred.
Not perfection.
Completion.
What Are We Doing With The Time We Have Left?
Toward the end of the Live, our conversation turned into something larger.
Have you figured out your own makeup yet?
Do you know what kind of person you are?
Do you know how you naturally create?
Do you know what actually gives you joy?
Or are you still trying to force yourself into systems, routines, and business models that drain the life out of you?
I admitted something during the conversation that I have been slowly realising about myself.
I love starting things.
I love finishing things.
But I struggle with long stretches of steady maintenance energy.
And instead of fighting that reality, I’m beginning to design my life around it. Because maybe wisdom in later life is not about becoming someone else. It is finally accepting who you already are.
Final Thought
At one point Donna said she had a vision years ago of giving her final speech at age 120 in front of 7,000 people.
I loved that.
Not because it is realistic.
But because it reflects something important.
She still has desire.
Curiosity.
Plans.
Joy.
And perhaps that is the real goal of ageing.
Not to stay young. But to stay interested in life.
To keep creating.
To keep connecting.
To keep writing the stories only you can write.
And maybe, just maybe, to finally stop apologising for the way your mind works.
If you’ve been thinking about writing a book but keep circling the idea without finishing it, maybe this is your sign.
As Donna said during our conversation:
“You have to join Neera’s course. Her process is fabulous.”
The truth is, most people don’t need another year of thinking about their book. They need structure, accountability, and someone to help them turn a messy idea into a finished manuscript.
That’s exactly what we do inside the 30-Day Book to Business Cohort.
You’ll write a short, strategic book designed to build your authority, clarify your message, and support the business you actually want to build.
And you won’t be doing it alone.
As always, thanks for reading.
