#194: Raising My Daughters And Having The Time Of My Life
My Life in 100 Objects - Part 12
Last week, I shared about my journey of settling in Australia and mentioned that I was expecting. Today, I'll pick up where I left off and continue with the story. However, before the arrival of our first child, a significant event occurred that formed the foundation of our lives.
83. A Job Offer
All our friends had already started families and purchased homes, leaving my husband and me as the only ones without children or a house. There were two main reasons for this: firstly, my husband was the youngest among our friends and consequently the last to marry; secondly, he was adamant about eventually returning to India to live. Both of us held deep attachments to our families, and we were regularly visiting India almost every year.
During one of our trips, my husband applied for a job at TATA which was establishing a new division called TATA Consultancies. They were recruiting entry-level MBAs to build this new service. Despite my husband's extensive management experience, they could only offer him a basic salary. They assured him of rapid progression once onboarded, but the initial offer of Rs 6000/month was insufficient for us to sustain ourselves even in 1988.
He declined.
Big mistake.
TATA Consultancies became a global phenomenon. Had he accepted the position, he would have been a Vice President in some big company, earning a substantial salary, and I could have been a lady of leisure (although I wouldn’t have enjoyed it for long).
However, this rejection ultimately helped us make one decision - we were going to settle in Australia permanently.
84. A Block Of Land
We wanted to buy a house but had no money for a deposit. Our annual pilgrimage to India, buying gifts for family members, and sibling weddings - all our savings were going into that. One day, at a party at our friend's house, we met the younger brother of a friend of my husband, who had recently migrated from India and was working with a realestate company. He told us that his company was releasing new land which was bound to increase in price as soon as it was released. If we wanted, he could book us a block of land with a minimal deposit.
“How minimal?” my husband asked. We didn’t even have $500 in our bank at that time. Besides, we were not sure whether we wanted to live in an area which hadn’t been developed yet.
“Fifty dollars!” he said.
“You are joking!” said my husband.
“No, I’m not. Give me fifty dollars and I will book a block of land in your name.”
Not believing him at all and taking him at his word, my husband opened his wallet and gave him a $50 bill, “Get me a biggest corner block, please,” my husband said jokingly.
He took the money and the next day rang us to tell us that he had booked us a block of land. “It’s the biggest block I could find and it’s a corner block.”
We didn’t believe him, but it was happening. It generated a bigger problem. Where to get the money for the 10% deposit which was due in two weeks. My husband asked his friend for a $5000 loan for two months, which his friend graciously gave him.
I was worried sick about how we were going to pay it back in two months. But my husband had a plan. He decided to drive a taxi after work.
For the next three months, he came home, had an early dinner, and drove the taxi till midnight and the whole day on Saturdays, while I waited for him, heavily pregnant and worried sick in an empty apartment.
One night he came back home with a black eye and one side of his face swollen.
“What happened?” I asked him.
“I fell in the toilet,” he told me. I found out the truth later. Someone sat in his taxi and didn’t pay the fare. When he followed him and asked for it, the guy, who was much bigger and perhaps drunk, punched him in the face.
We paid back our friend in two months as promised and had a bit of extra cash left before our first daughter arrived.
85. Our First Home
We had the land but no money to build a house on it. Fortunately, as predicted by the friend’s brother who sold us the land, its value had significantly appreciated. Consequently, we listed the land for a private sale. A friend of a friend purchased it from us well before the main payment was due. Since we didn't involve any agents, we made a $13K profit on the deal. This money served as our initial investment to acquire a block of land released by the government to assist low-income individuals.
Thus, we entered the property market with a combination of luck and diligent effort.
This was a period when interest rates soared to 18%. I was due to go on Maternity leave soon and we were going to be on one income for some time. My husband decided to construct two units on the block instead of a single-family home, so that we could rent one unit to help us pay the mortgage.
His strategy proved effective, but only for a little while.
86. Our Second Home
We settled into our unit, but soon encountered a new challenge. Within just 12 months, it became evident that our daughter needed more space to move around freely with her walker. We had no choice but to upgrade our home.
The high interest rates had an unexpected silver lining. Many homeowners who couldn't afford their properties had listed them at significantly reduced prices. Capitalizing on this opportunity, we found a three-bedroom house with a rumpus room in a developing suburb that we could afford by renting out both of our units.
Taking advantage of the situation, we purchased the house. The equity from our two units provided us with the borrowing capacity we needed, and the deposit money came from the small profit we made from sale of a small unit my husband had bought in Ballarat before my migration to Australia.
We were kind of settled now. We now owned a home (albeit with a mortgage), two rental units and steady employment. I returned to work at the Tax Office after a year-long break and took maternity leave once again after 18 months, this time to welcome our second daughter.
87. Our Second Daughter
Our second daughter arrived on a winter morning. My parents came to help us, staying with us for six months. Finances remained tight, but we managed.
When our younger daughter was just three months old, my husband had to work in Canberra, the capital of Australia, for three months on a project. I moved with him and rented a place there. During those three months, I explored Canberra with my toddler and infant daughters. Canberra, known as the bush capital of Australia (although it's not anymore), had a population of less than 300,000 at the time. The roads were mostly empty, devoid of traffic jams and traffic lights. Access to everything was easy, but compared to Melbourne, the town itself felt dead. Nevertheless, we thought it was an excellent place to raise kids.
Thinking that my husband applied for a State Health Manager position there. There were two roles available: one for the Australian Capital Territory and the other for the Northern Territory. Naturally, he aimed for the position in the Australian Capital Territory, which would have facilitated an easy transfer for me to the National Tax Office and opportunity to raise our kids in Canberra.
However, things didn't unfold as expected. He didn't secure the position in the Australian Capital Territory but instead was offered one in the Northern Territory. This meant uprooting our entire household and relocating to Darwin, approximately 2500 miles away from Melbourne.
88. Moving to Darwin
Darwin turned out to be even a better place to raise kids with its tropical weather. It was a land of mangoes, crocodiles and cyclones. It you could survive the two months of buildup followed by two months of rain and cyclone, the rest of year had perfect summer conditions. We lived there for three years. Unfortunately, I couldn't secure a transfer to the Darwin Tax Office and ultimately had to resign, transitioning into the role of a full-time mother.
During this period, I indulged in my hobbies. Aside from my studies, embroidery held a special place in my heart. I used to do cross-stitching and crafted several tapestries during my younger years. Resuming this passion, I created two more tapestries while staying at home. Additionally, I provided home-based childcare for a four-year-old girl for a year, who became friends with my daughters, allowing me to earn some pocket money to support my hobbies.
We were provided with a house by the department, complete with a swimming pool and a backyard that opened onto the golf course. My children learned to swim in that pool. Since neither my husband nor I knew how to swim, I hired another mother from my daughter's primary school to teach them swimming after school.
One day, she invited me and girls to her house after school. She had learned decoupage from a friend of hers. She showed me how she was doing it. I loved it. It was right up my alley. I came home and started cutting pictures from magazines. For next six months I decoupaged many objects. But my favourite one is a high chair which we used for both our daughters. We would have disposed off this chair once the girls had grown up but now it holds a proud place in our dining room for more than three decades, thanks to my decoupage efforts.
89. Radio Station
In Darwin, the Indian community was small but tightly knit, lacking the divisions found in Melbourne. We quickly integrated into this vibrant community, participating in various functions and celebrations festivals together. During our time there, we hosted numerous parties, celebrating our children's birthdays and hosting card nights. I delved into cooking, experimenting with different Indian recipes sourced from library recipe books. I particularly enjoying making Indian sweets. My culinary skills were soon recognized, and I became known as a great cook within the community.
Throughout our three years in Darwin, the Indian Association, led by a dedicated and active secretary, organized a plethora of events, including group picnics, dance performances, cultural shows, and Diwali celebrations. When asked if I could cook lamb for the next Diwali celebration, I was flattered and agreed. The next day, they delivered 15 kg of lamb to my kitchen. It took me five days to prepare lamb curry in 3 kg batches in my small kitchen.
Meanwhile, my husband held a prestigious position as the National State Manager for The Department of Health. Through his work, I was introduced to various social circles. I was invited by one of his employees, a well connected lady, to serve as the treasurer for a fundraising organization she was running. This role provided me with a unique set of skills. The patron of the organization was the wife of the Northern Territory Governor. Suddenly I was interact with women of high social standing.
One of my most cherished experiences during our time in Darwin was hosting a one-hour community radio program in Hindi. This radio station was part of the Australian Special Broadcasting Services (SBS) catering to ethnic diasporas. I was allocated one day a week, during which I operated all the controls, read news, played music, and conducted interviews or discussions entirely on my own. It was an unforgettable experience that still remains dear to me.
90. Bank Job
After my older daughter had been in school for two years, I decided to make another attempt at finding work. I landed a job as a teller in a bank once again, this time at the Commonwealth Bank of Australia. Despite working part-time, the job proved to be incredibly exhausting as I had to stand at the counter all day. By the time I returned home, I was often too tired to do anything else.
Every year, we made it a point to visit India so that our children could spend time with their grandparents and establish a connection with our homeland.
We were thoroughly enjoying our time in Darwin and hoped to extend our stay by another year. However, my husband's request for permission to extend was denied. Consequently, we had to return to Canberra, where he was assigned to a different position within the department. Once again, we packed up our entire household and moved back to civilization. Despite being closer to Melbourne, Canberra was still an eight-hour drive away. And all our friends were in Melbourne. We thought, once we go back we will try and find a job in Melbourne and move back there.
That never happened.
91. Moving to Canberra
My husband’s work facilitated our move to Canberra, covering the expenses involved. We rented a house and found a reputable school for our older daughter. One of the advantages of Canberra was the excellent quality of public schools. Despite initially registering her at Girls Grammar, we ultimately chose to send her to the local public school.
With our younger daughter now ready for preschool, I decided to enroll in a course at the local technology college. The years I had been away from work there had been significant changes in the work places with the advent of computers, emails, fax machines, multifunction printers, and various other technologies that I had never encountered before. The Canberra Institute of Technology offered a specially designed course called Diploma in Office Works tailored to help women like me to re-enter the workforce.
My classes were scheduled in the evenings, which left a 15-minute gap between my husband arriving home on the bus and my departure for class. Mobile phones were not invented yet so I couldn’t be sure whether my husband was able to catch the bus or not. To get to my class in time, I would lock up my girls in the house sit in the car just outside the house ready to leave as soon as I spotted my husband's bus approaching.
Six months later I was ready to get a job, but there were hardly any. It was the time when the whole world was under recession.
We have come a long way since I began sharing my story with you earlier this year.
This project is coming close to its end. Next week I will reach the 100 objects bringing this memoir to its end. I am immensely grateful to all of you who have read and supported me throughout the writing process.
Your encouragement has made this project truly worthwhile.
Thank you.
That’s all from me this week.
See you next Friday.
What can't you do? I bet it's a very short list. I will be sad when the story ends.
The tapestries are beautiful! Between that and the decoupage, you clearly have a good eye for artistry.