Last week, you read about my struggles during my college years. This week, I will continue with my experiences during my first college and then my research studies. This was the time I began to understand myself and my capabilities more deeply.
58. The Medical College, Amritsar
I spent four years at Medical College, Amritsar, the first two years completing my Bachelor's in Human Anatomy, Physiology, and Biochemistry, and the next two years pursuing my Master's in Biochemistry. It was an intimidating period for two reasons: first, a handful of us were treated as second-class citizens among the 150 MBBS students, and second, I was too self-conscious about my short height, plain looks, and lack of self-esteem. But I did excel in my studies.
In one of my previous posts, I recounted an incident in the eighth grade where I gave an incorrect answer during an oral exam. The question was about the 'ubal darja' (boiling point) of water, and without understanding the term or seeking clarification, I responded with "twenty degrees."
This wasn't the only mistake I made during oral exams. On another occasion, when asked to identify a specimen, I mistakenly called a pigeon a crow. These errors highlighted my struggle to perform well under pressure. After that, I worked diligently to improve, preparing more thoroughly for each oral exam.
My breakthrough came during the oral exam for my first year of a Master's degree. The examiner was from the prestigious Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education & Research (PGI) in northern India. He chose to question me first. The pressure was intense, and I was extremely nervous.
But as soon as he asked the first question something clicked. I entered a 'zone' where my knowledge and confidence aligned perfectly. The examiner continued to ask questions, and I kept on responding confidently. He asked over twenty questions, seemingly waiting for me to stumble, but I didn't. Eventually, he ran out of questions and moved on. But, after a few steps, he turned back and said, "You did really well."
The feeling of elation I experienced at that moment was indescribable. All my previous failures were forgotten. I realized that with better preparation, I could achieve better results.
59. My Masters Thesis
As it happened, the examiner who had once questioned me during my Master's degree oral exam later became Head of the Biochemistry Department of our institution. I had the opportunity to do my thesis under his guidance.
After completing my studies, I held two prestigious degrees, one for my Bachelor's and the other for my Master's. Despite these accomplishments, I struggled to find employment.
One day, I visited my former examiner, now the head of the department, with my father to discuss my future prospects. He suggested that I pursue further research at medical institutions. However, he took my father aside and suggested that there were limited career prospects in research and that it might be better to find a suitable boy for me and marry me off.
His words shattered my self-worth. Here I was, a highly intelligent individual who had excelled in academics, yet I was being told that my only option was to get married. Although my parents were considering potential suitors for me, I couldn't bear the thought of letting my education go to waste and resigning myself to a life as a housewife.
Months passed, and I tried to distract myself with craft projects, but my restlessness only grew. One day, while sitting in our lounge, I fell into a deep depression and began crying uncontrollably. I call it depression because I could feel the energy draining from my body. My mother tried to console me, but I was inconsolable. My cries grew louder, and when my father heard them, he rushed to my side. Instead of saying anything, he sat next to me, placed his hand on my back, and began crying with me. The sight of him crying openly made me forget my pain, and I became more worried about him.
He must have sensed the source of my frustration because he asked me, "Tell me what you want to do, and I will make it happen."
To this day, I don't know how the answer came to me, but I said, "I want to pursue a Ph.D."
He replied, "Done. Wherever you want to study, whichever city you want to go to, I will bear the cost. You go and study."
Two weeks later, my father and I arrived at the Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education & Research. He introduced me to one of his old classmates, a woman who was the head of the Gynecology Department, she offered me a research assistant position and a seat in her Ph.D. research project on the spot.
But, I didn't accept the offer.
60. Ph. D. Offer
I declined the offer because, by then, I was determined to make my own way in the world.
Two weeks later, I returned to the Post Graduate Institute with my mother, who was helping me transfer my belongings and find accommodation. Based on information shared by a girl who was a year senior to me I met with a younger professor who had recently returned from Germany after completing his research. He was impressed with my qualifications and offered me a Ph.D. seat, provided I found my own research topic and secured my own grant. It was a challenge, but I accepted it. This also meant my parents would have to cover my rent and food expenses until I secured funding from the Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR).
One of the professor's students had been offered a position in Australia. The professor gave me his notes and asked me to see if I could find a research topic within them. The student had been studying a newly discovered protein that played a crucial role in cellular absorption. After a couple of months of research in the library, I found a topic that I submitted for an ICMR grant. It was approved, and I received a stipend one and a half times greater than what my father's friend had offered me.
I was proud to have started my working life on my own terms.
61. Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education & Research
Life at the Post Graduate Institute was a stark contrast to the sheltered environment of my home. I resided in a hostel on campus and dined in the Mess. Missing a meal meant going hungry or venturing outside the campus for food. The television was located in the common room, where securing a seat required an early arrival, which I often couldn't be bothered with. I had to manage my own laundry and sometimes wait in line for a shower during peak hours.
Yet, I relished this newfound independence. It was during this time that I truly discovered myself. I developed my values and recognized my strengths.
Adjacent to our research building was an auditorium where they screened one English and one Hindi movie each week. None of us would miss these screenings, especially the English movies, as they were not available elsewhere. I believe these movies significantly contributed to my proficiency in spoken English. Additionally, every morning, we engaged in hour-long discussion sessions where a student from one of the labs would present their research project, and we would discuss it. All discussions had to be conducted in English. I didn’t know it at that time, but, these sessions were improving my spoken English skills.
62. My First Job Offer
Six months into my research, I noticed a Biochemistry lecturer's position advertised at Dayanand Medical College, Ludhiana. It was a private yet esteemed medical college, so I decided to apply. To my surprise, I was invited for an interview. Before the interview, I discovered that another girl from PGI, who had completed her Ph.D., had also applied for the Head of the Department position and was invited for the interview. We both traveled together to Ludhiana, and my mother joined me there for moral support.
I was interviewed first. I entered a room filled with Heads of Departments, many of whom were doctors, and they asked me a few questions. I don't remember much, but I must have performed well. What I do remember is that soon after my interview, they interviewed the other girl and then, they invited us both into the room to inform us that we both got the jobs.
They offered the other girl the position of women's hostel warden, which would provide her with a salary boost and accommodation. The head of the Biochemistry department was retiring, and they were eager to fill the position. We both said we would think about it and left the room.
When I returned to Chandigarh, I realized that if I accepted the job, I would never progress and would become a frog in a well. There was no way I would be able to pursue a Ph.D. in Ludhiana, (as there were no higher research institutes there), and without a Ph.D., I would never be able to become the head of the department. At PGI, people were completing their theses in 3 to 4 years and then being offered research positions in the US, UK, Germany, and Australia.
So, I declined my first proper job offer.
Surprisingly, the other girl also declined. I am not sure why. It would have been a really good opportunity for her, as she would have been teaching first-year medical students, an opportunity to be revered for life.
63. Experiments and publishing papers
My research topic was 'The Role of Calmodulin in Diarrhea.' I was investigating three types of diarrhea: bacterial, parasitic, and viral. This research involved three major experiments, each involving 150 mice. I induced diarrhea in them by feeding them a diet contaminated with bacteria, parasites, or viruses. When they exhibited symptoms, I anesthetized them with chloroform, extracted their intestines, and conducted tests. Although it may sound unpleasant now, at that time, I was immensely proud of my work.
I had a mentor, another research student, who was a year ahead of me. He had conducted similar experiments before (on a different topic), and he was collaborating with me on my research. I published three papers from my research in reputable Biochemistry journals. I had completed two sets of these experiments and had only one more to go when one day, out of the blue, my parents appeared at the door of my lab.
My life was about to change.
64. The Marriage Proposal
While I was engrossed in my research, my parents were corresponding with the parents of a boy who lived in Australia. The boy was visiting his parents, and they were eager for the two of us to meet so that, if we liked each other, a wedding could be arranged during his current visit. The boy’s family lived in another city and my father wanted the meeting to take place the next day.
But, I was fully immersed in my Ph.D. I was on track to complete it in record time and didn't want to give it up just because some 'boy' decided to visit home on holiday.
I remember my father taking me for a walk. We sat on a brick wall, sipping tea, when he said something that struck a chord with me. "There is a very small window for marriage when a boy and girl are not set in their ways and are willing to change for each other. Once you lose that window, marriage becomes hard work. On the other hand, you can start a career at any age. And a girl as smart as you will find something worthwhile to do even without a degree."
Even to my young rebellious mind, his words made perfect sense. I had seen many older girls working on their theses at the same institution. I knew they would excel in their professions, but I wasn't sure if they would receive good marriage proposals.
On that same day, I left with my parents for a city I had never heard of before to meet the 'boy' whose name I didn't even know.
That’s is all from me this week.
See you next Friday.
Neera, our life paths are different and yet there are so many similarities, it's amazing. Great that you've never given up on yourself, even after critics crushing your spirit, and at the same time you were willing to listen to the voice of wisdom that was different from what you'd be personally inclined to.
I probably do both, for instance at times I will say husband not Les, probably should use both when naming him. I think naming someone makes it more personal, and particularly when writing about your life I think that is important unless that person doesn’t want to be identified, which I think in both our cases that would be rare. I still relate to whoever you are talking about named or not, so yes, still easy to follow. 🤗